PROJECT JELLYFISH: stories and songs volume1.

by Maria Fantasma

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about

this isn't much i know, but it serves me as a documentation of some of the songs i wrote in 2011. these versions are not a polished set of jewels, but a sack of interesting rocks i've found. you didn't think i'd just let you download the diamonds for free, DID YOU? feel free to let me know what you think. if you listen to this, then you are my friend, and i value the opinions of my friends...

credits

released October 10, 2011

ALL SONGS WRITTEN AND RECORDED BY RYAN WALLACE. ADDITIONAL VOCALS ON "HUMAN HEARTS" BY MARCUS DOTSON.

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Maria Fantasma Tulsa, Oklahoma

MARIA FANTASMA IS THE NAME OF MY MUSE. MY NAME IS RYAN. I LIVE TO MAKE MUSIC AND I HOPE YOU LIVE TO HEAR IT. HOPEFULLY YOU'LL SEE MORE OF ME... I LIKE TO BULLSHIT, SO HIT ME UP ON FACEBOOK.

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Track Name: THE LAST TIME THAT I SAW YOU...
The last time I saw you

The last time I saw you, you just stared at me
But I still see the face that you made in my dreams
And though it might sound absurd
I swear that every word I say is true
The moment that our eyes met, I knew you must be
Designed and distorted and made just for me
I wrote down these words
And I just wanted you to know
I want to dance and romance you
I want to take you home

I can’t forget your smile or the way you comb hair
I can’t shake the desperate feeling that I get when I’m lost in your stare
I want to be who think of when you are alone
I don’t know your name but I know it must mean angel
Or some other reference to god or undying truth
I want to feel you and squeeze you until I break your bones
I want touch you and taste you and cut your throat

Every second of our lives you see, has led us both to this
A chance to finally transcend who are
Come over here and give me a kiss
We’re gonna make a movie, baby doll and you’re gonna be the star

I want to wear your scent to the market
I want to know that you’re waiting for me to come home

I want to scrub your stain out of the carpets
And keep you somewhere nice and safe
Where no one will know
No one will know
Track Name: THE BALLAD OF MARK DAVID CHAPMAN
The ballad of Mark David Chapman

He wasn’t the worst of the worst
Or even the most hated or cursed
He was the beautiful boy at the ball
Words like ‘love is all you need’
Come out so easily, when you seemingly
Have it all
Well, I thought you knew me through the songs
and through the speakers
I thought we got each other so well
But the Walrus and the Eggman can’t do nothing for you now
Hey, Johnny, what you got to say for yourself?

Me, I can’t forget how I’m from the middle of fucking nowhere
And they’re never gonna hear me out
Don’t I deserve to shine some too?
When something feels this right
You got to burn before the fire goes out

“You’d better stop for a minute
Think about what just went down here
Try to wash some of the blood off your hands
Just think about the shit they’re gonna talk about you
Once they find you’ve put a bullet hole
Right through the Nowhere Man”

But destiny can call you up at all times of the night
You might not again get this chance
Don’t you deserve to shine some too?
When something feels this right
You’ve got to pull the trigger while you still can.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Track Name: BEAUTIFUL
Beautiful

I’m just a human bag of trash with a twist in back
And face that is ragged and torn
This coat has saved my life at least a couple of times but it’s never really kept me warm

She said its nothing that a man like me could understand
So I just sat there and sighed with my head in my hands
I try to think of a song so I can make another lonely request
Please say “yes”
I need a new coat because the summer’s almost over
And I can feel the bitter winter creeping over my shoulder
All the birds that I’ve made friends with will soon all fly away
I can’t say that I could blame them I wish I could escape

When I was younger I would just stare at the sun
It was a wonderful light, a wonderful light
The cavemen thought that it was heaven
Even though they were wrong
It’s still a beautiful lie, such a beautiful lie
Alright

They said that I would get it when I was grown
But I still don’t understand
I just set there sobbing with my head in my hands
I keep hoping and praying there will come a day
When I could just grow wings and fly away

When I was younger I would just stare at the sun
It was a wonderful light, a wonderful light
The cavemen thought that it was heaven
Even though they were wrong
It’s still a beautiful lie, such a beautiful lie
Alright
Track Name: I NEVER MEANT TO BREAK YOUR HEART
I Never Meant To Break Your Heart

I don’t regret, the words that I’ve said, or any man that shot dead in the dark
All the laws that I broke, the lies that I spoke, or the lives that I watched fall apart
But I swear on my life, to God and Jesus Christ
With every drop of blood that I’ve got
I may be crazy but believe me, baby
I never meant to break your heart.

Since the day of my birth I was cursed to be one of the worst creatures under the sun
Full of venom and piss for this world made of shit
I’m just a hollow-hearted, maladjusted son of a gun
But I swear on the hole where I once had a soul
On every bible that you’ve got
Although I may be insane, believe me, babe
I never meant to break your heart

I was high as a kite the night that Billy Lyons died
I shot him right there, in front of his kids and his wife
There in their parlor, I left them all gagged and bound
I just smoked a cigarette and watched it burn to the ground
But I swear on the hole where I once kept my soul
On every bible that you’ve got
I may be crazy but please believe me, baby
I never meant to break your heart
I never meant to break your heart
I never meant to break your heart
Track Name: IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME.
It’s Not You, It’s Me

Once upon a time, we used to be something I thought was so sweet
But it’s only bitter now
Once upon a time, you used to see the softer side of me
But I’m old and brittle now
So, if you don’t know
Than I feel I must tell you so
When I see you this way
It only breaks my heart

You know this chemical circus ain’t as cool as it used to be
Neither is the conversation or company
And if you’re asking me, I think it’s sickening
Is this what passes for romance these days?
If it’s alright with you, I’d rather this remain unsaid
I know the speech you’re giving me like the back of your head
And if my heart’s still playing beats and yours isn’t cold and dead
I think that we should go our separate ways

Forgive me if I just don’t see what’s so great about the “good old days”

We were just seventeen years old when we sold our souls
For sex and drugs and rock and roll
But Baby, they don’t even play songs like that on the radio any more
It took a lot of selfish shit like this to be this self-aware
Please be careful with yourself, it’s a jungle out there
I can understand why you’d be so scared
I’m not made out of stone
But if you’re asking me what I want to be
My answer is…
All alone
Track Name: THE ROAD
The Road

I grew up on my family farm
Hell, I got my first kiss in that old red barn
Though we always had to struggle just to get by
I thought I’d always have my pride
My old man worked these fields ‘til his hands bled
Just like his old man’s old man did
And that’s the life I had planned for my kids
But something changed inside
Just a ways
On down the road

About a hundred and fifty years ago,
My old great grand dad
Took this plot from some heathen Indians
He had to murder with his own two hands
And I’ll be damned if I let some suit from the bank
Push us off of this piece of land
I’d rather see it all burn than turn around
And run with my tail between my tail my legs
Just a ways
On down the road

After the crops dried up and the livestock died
I got a stack of colored letters from the bank a foot high
I grew sicker inside as the day drew nigh
Where I couldn’t even look my family in their eyes
Well, I don’t know but I’ve been told
That the world out there will devour you whole
And leave you screaming and dying on the side of the road
Like you weren’t even human and didn’t have a soul
Just a ways
On down the road

So I turned my back to the rising sun
And I steadied my hand and I loaded my gun
I couldn’t trust my wife
She was the very first one
Her very last words were “What have you done?”
And I made my way on down the hall
The cousins and the kids
I fuckin’ shot them all
I left the kitchen covered in kerosene
I watched burn and I didn’t even blink

I stood there screaming in the morning air
The smoke in the breeze blowing through my hair
Everything in my life that I held dear
I left them in a pile burning way back down the road